do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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