He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
this will be a night to untag.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
