On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
