soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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