her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
