You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
