So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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