so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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