Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
