she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
