Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
