what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
