I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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