I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
MIDGETS
????
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
