He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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