we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Less talking, more tequila
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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