Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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