absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize