It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
