Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
