I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
