kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
