I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
