are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We are two peas in an std pod
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
