She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
