He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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