When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize