every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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