Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
