One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
