That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
