I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
