Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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