I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize