Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
