Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
