your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
