Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
