I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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