i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's paint friendship bongs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
