summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
