we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i dont even know how to be here
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
