didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Who died my cat blue again?
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