Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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