Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
