Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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