girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
