Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
