i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize