Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize