I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
