we're blogging at a bar
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Michael Bay diarrhea
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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