Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize