She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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