I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize