She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
