i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
