I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
