I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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