I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
