dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
