I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
