i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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