The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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