# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
