If that was your dad, he is hot
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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