The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
