It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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