And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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