Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
