Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
