And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
